When the clouds get darker

I lost my mother last year, right on the morning of our national Mother’s Day.  I was there, in the hospital room with her.  All night, but I didn’t get to literally say good bye to her.  My children was asleep on the bed across my mother’s.  I tried to stay awake, but I couldn’t. Only a few minutes before her soul parted, she wanted to say good bye to me.  I suddenly woke up and it was just before 4 a.m. The room was quiet and all I heard was the breathing of the machine, not hers. I was afraid to assume, slowly I went to her bedside, and touched her veins on her neck.  I couldn’t feel anything, but not convinced, I felt her wrist.  Still no sign. I tried to stay calm, and picked up the phone to call the nurses, then my father.  I couldn’t say much except “mom…” He understood and rushed to the hospital.

I’ve been up all night the previous evening, sitting next to my mother’s bed, holding her hand sometimes crying inside. I still regret and wish that I was there on her bedside that night, to feel her, to be there if she were out of her coma. But I never knew.  She’s be in partial coma for almost a week and she was a cancer victim for almost 5 years, until then she has finally given up.

The tears and regrets for moving far away from home still remain, after these many months.  I should have been stronger, for my children.  But when I’m alone, I can’t help it and that emotional feelings I’ve been trying to hide finally won.  I feel it’s very difficult in the first few months, because I hardly went to see her.  The distance cost not only the money but time in essence of our relationship.  My busy schedule, her busy schedule and our time difference were really complicated, and thus, we didn’t get to talk much.  Even when the technology is much advanced now than 10 years ago, she wasn’t the type who would have the passion nor interest of learning it, especially after she was diagnosed and undergoing treatment.

One thing, I feel lucky and grateful that we did get to see each other and talked a little before she went into her coma.  She was content, I hope, to be able to see her two grandsons, after almost 2 years we could not come home.  I was hoping to tell her more stories that I have not had the chance to share all this time, to have the children talk to her more, but she was exhausted and wanted to be alone to rest.

She was a hardworking mom, wanting the best for her children and her grandchildren, making sure we live healthy and happy, and she was always trying to be there to help, financially and emotionally.  Even now, I still could hear her worrying about us sometimes,  asking me to take care of my health so I can take care of my children. Every time I call home now, I have the feeling that my mom would be the one picking up the phone, like most of the old times as she used to.   Looks like I’ll be in this denial stage a little longer.

 

Who don’t love a free movie?

Just recently I found out that MJR Cinema is showing free movies for kids under 12 every weekend starting 2 weeks ago ($1 for adult).  Being a movie lover, I wouldn’t want to miss this event even if they are kids movies.  It was Gulliver’s Travel on the first weekend and Narnia 3: The Dawn Trader on the following weekend.  We can’t wait for the next one this weekend.  They are showing Yogi Bear and my dear sons promised to behave the entire week in order to see the movie.

 

Yay! Spring is here.. almost!

I can’t wait for the Spring to come.  Not very well coping with the winter this year.  Too many sick days, mostly the children.   I almost can’t count how many doctor trips I had to take this year.  Since I’m so broke, we didn’t even get to do skiing or ice skating like we used to do.  My children were quite satisfied with just playing in the backyard full of snow or we would go sledding at a neighborhood hill.  Have lots of plans for the spring – starting with an outdoor workout plan and hanging out with both of my dear sons.

 

Garage ‘Sailing’

I have been addicted to garage sales or moving sales postings for more than 3 years now.  Although I used to have my own garage sale once or twice before that, I wasn’t used to buying other people’s stuffs and did not really have the time … or I should say, much interest, driving around to find one with good stuffs and good prices. 

It was not until how much I realized that baby and kids stuffs are very expensive if you buy new but your little ones do not need them for long or sometimes they don’t even like them.  So I began my adventure as a ‘garage sailing’ mom. 

During the past 3 years, I have had good experiences when garage ‘sailing’ with my children, especially because I only go to those who have toys for sale.  A lot of time they were interested in small toys that cost less than $2, but somehow they managed to get those toys free – off course not all the time.  Some of these sellers just wanted to get rid of their stuffs and offered free toys for the children.

Here are some ideas on planning to hit garage sales/moving sales:

1.  Look at local newspapers online to see if there are any subdivision sale, community yard sale, block sale or condominium yard sale.  These will save you time and gas than to go to individual garage sale on different streets.  Find the sale in your area first, especially with the hike in the fuel price lately (although it sort of went down these past few days). If you can afford to drive farther, go to those areas with newest subdivision homes or a little bit outskirts since they will most likely offer a much better price for an excellent condition items.  I bought so many new like condition toys for cheaper price in such areas.  I bought (I think) Leapfrog drum, which my son loved banging on it, for only $1 while it was selling in the store for $19.99 if not on sale.  Or a little tykes wagon with a door for only $4.  And I always look for very good to new like conditions.  I even found some brand new baby/toddler clothings for much less than the store and it’s worth driving too.

2.  Check on Craigslist for any garage sale or moving sale that may not be posted on the newspaper.  Usually some people prefer Craigslist since it is free to post ads, but the exposure may be limited to certain audiences and the prices sometimes are not very attractive when you actually go there.

3.  Check on mom2mom sale online to see if there are any that are scheduled closer to your area.  However, these places sometimes charge admissions of $1 or $2 and only open for only 3-4 hours.  There are about 25 to 100+ tables depending on each area sale.  Some of the sellers do offer good prices on some items, but most are still a bit pricy compared to a local garage sale or a moving sale that are not advertised online. 

3.  Drive along a main road of residences.  Sometimes you will find many houses in neighbourhood blocks are having garage sale or moving sale if the weather is sunny and warm.  These areas usually have more attractive prices compared to those who post ads online.

4.  Prepare a little bit extra cash since sometimes you may see something else that you didn’t plan on buying before you left the house but you feel the need and urge to get that when you see the item.  However, keep it within your budget, otherwise, you will spend unlimited amounts of money on your garage ‘sailing’.   You will also need to consider if it worths your driving time and fuel cost if you purchase the item and be prepared to bargain. 

5.  Check online to see the prices of the brand new items you want to buy.  Rarely a seller will put a higher price than what the store is selling but that can happen. 

6.  At the end…   Happy Garage ‘Sailing’!

 

My preschooler’s first day

It was the first day of school for my preschooler and boy, he was off without crying or clinging on his mommy anymore.  In fact, the teachers already started to bring the kids inside the classroom when we arrived in front of the designated door outside the school’s building.  Yes, we were considered almost late since I missed the entrance sign and had to turn back to go to the designated parking lot.  So we didn’t really have much time to exchange the ‘good luck’ and ‘have fun’ kisses too long with each other.  But he looked like he was really ready for school.

It was a touching moment watching your little one was finally off to school on his/her first day.  Although I have sent him to daycare when he was one so I had already experienced such feelings, but it still felt strange inside my heart watching him walking so calmly and let the teacher guided him to his classroom.   I saw one parent who had tears watching her little girl walking towards the door with her teacher.  Other parents were more supportive and waved at their little ones while they were leaving.  There were a couple dads or moms who took pictures of the kids lining up on the wall outside the door waiting for the teachers to open the door and come out to get them.  I was one of them but didn’t get to take a good picture, couldn’t even see his face since he was already walking towards the door with his teacher.  So I decided to get ready with my camera when I picked him up. 

My toddler and I were waiting outside the door for him 15 minutes before the school was supposed to be over.  We walked along the sidewalk trying to see if his classroom was one of those that have the windows facing the playground, hoping to peek inside to see how he was doing.  Unfortunately, we could not see his room from outside the building and the door was locked from inside.  Finally the teachers released the preschoolers one at a time to their parents.  My son was actually the first to be released when the teacher saw me standing on the wall by the door.  I was ready with my camera and took a picture of him getting out of the building.  It wasn’t really a good one tho, but still worth something to add on his book. 

As he walked towards me, I kept myself calm enough not to embarass him with kissing him in the public.  Before I said a word, he looked at me and said ‘I like school, mommy’.  Boy, was I glad to hear that (and a little sad to notice how my little boy is growing up now).  But my toddler really missed his big brother.  After his nap, he asked where his brother was and he even brought a treat for his big brother when we went to pick him up.

 

Shopping at Costco

Have you ever been to Costco Wholesale Warehouse? It’s one of my favorite places to go shopping.  Yes, you have to purchase in large quantities for some of the items, but they are actually worth it.  I have compared them to other stores and definitely is a bargain to shop at Costco.  Even if you don’t need to use that many quantities, you probably can share with some of your friends or family and split the cost. 

Costco also has many attractive designs or styles on some items such as clothings and toys.  The books and toys are very educational and I often buy them from there.  Costco also offers less expensive fuel than other gas stations.  Like today, when the gas price went up to $3.89 a gallon, Costco offered $3.72 a gallon.  Can you imagine how many cars were lined-up for this price? 

You can also shop online for many different things at Costco.com.  Not just grocery or merchandise or fuel, Costco also offers different kinds of services such as its own photo center and travel service, or assistance to home purchasing, financing, 401K, etc. through some of its partners.  I have used its photo center to print many of my photos and we liked the quality of those photos.  You can even upload and order your photos online and have them picked up at your local Costco Warehouse in the same day.  But wait… you need to apply for a membership before you can enter the store or make any purchases.

 

Travelling on an airplane with toddlers? No Problem!

Vacation is over.  It was nice, some says was long… but we say it was too short.  We surely miss Grandpa and Grandma, all the uncles and aunts, the food and all the fun we had in those nice Asian warm weather. 

Before we left for such a long airplane ride to Hong Kong, we received lots of concerns and advise.  As a mother of two very young toddlers, 2 and 3.5 years old boys, I was pretty much prepared for this trip on my own although many did not seem to believe.  I have researched via internet every materials and regulations on travelling with toddlers, including the TSA website which really offers helpful information on travelling alone with baby or toddler. 

Departing from New York was a great advantage since we did not have to transfer our luggages when we returned home.  On our outbound trip from the States, Grandma Kim flew with us.  So that was nice on the airplane when I had to use the bathroom or when one of the boys got very tired.  It was not as smooth as it sounded like when we actually arrived at the airport.  We got separated.  I lost her and my first son, while I was trying to help my second son. 

Trying to get the information or to report the loss was not easy.  I took a regret that I did not keep up with my chinese language lesson.  Fortunately, one of the flight attendants came up to us and told us that Grandma Kim and my first son was waiting for me downstairs in front of the connecting train, but when we arrived there, both of them dissapeared.  Later on, we were reunited in front of the Ferry Ticket Counter where they were waiting for us with the other flight attendants.

Flying back home to the States was less hassle and more convenient.  Grandpa offered to fly with us and had already reserved a ticket and was in a waiting list from Hong Kong to New York.  I might be a little nervous but much more confidence that I could travel with my two boys alone.  I did not want to offend him by turning down his offer in the beginning, but when I found out that the fare was a lot more expensive than normal since it was a high season, I could not agree to his reason.  Since it was not necessary, I tried to convince Grandma and Grandpa not to go with us.  Although we doubled the numbers of the luggages to check-in (5 big luggages), I ensured them that I would only be  bringing one carry-on and it should not be a problem. 

It turned out that it was a more smooth flight ride and transit experience.  We had to change to another plane in Hong Kong from Indonesia.  There was a lot of time before our next flight so we took a walk at the Hong Kong airport trying to find the gate number.  However, the information was not posted on the monitor yet because it was still too early.  I took both boys to find a playground at the airport but I could not remember the exact location and no one seemed to know it.  So I made a long distance call from my cell phone to Grandma who fortunately remembered the exact place.  The boys had a fabulous time with those musical maze, climbing area, or just running around.

The flight from Hong Kong to New York did have some technical issues that delayed our departure schedule, trying to fix the entertainment that still did not work at all during the flight.  But the boys behaved very very well compared to our outbound flight even without those entertainment movies.  We mostly slept throughout the flight which did not happen during our outbound flight from New York to Hong Kong.  Perhaps they were just a little nervous in the beginning as that was their first long flight trip overseas.

A few things to prepare for such a long trip for the young toddlers: favorite toys, books, movies, activity books such as coloring books and crayons, and lots of snacks.  Try not to bring too many since it would be useless and only added to the volume of your carry-on luggage.  We found that most of our international flights offer activity books, games and children entertainment channels.  We were pretty lucky that we prepared lots of snacks – cookies and breads for the boys to eat since they did not like the child meals provided by the airline company.

 

Unpleasant experience with Telkom-Speedy

I had another issue with my internet at home at the beginning of the month.  This was not the first time I have had trouble with Speedy since it was set up just a little over a month ago.  So I called 147 which is a telephone support, and talked to a Customer Service Representative.  They told me that my internet was blocked because of a past due balance on the Speedy invoice for May which technically was my first invoice.  I was startled to hear that since I assumed that the Speedy balance should have been paid with the regular Telkom bill.  I pulled the invoice again to see if I missed any fine prints that stated a different way to pay Speedy. Null!  All I noticed there was only one invoice number for both phone and speedy account, and a total due at the bottom for both services.  All usage for phone and speedy internet access were also listed on one page.  However, our bank has already debited my telephone charges on time. 

Being a new customer to Speedy, I was not aware that the phone and internet should have been paid separately.  In other words, you need to register or authorize either ATM or the bank in order to pay the Speedy account.  It doesn’t automatically get deducted from your bank account along with your home phone.  Although this can be seen as a secure way to ensure no fraudulent in payments, this creates inconvenience for us as new customers.  Because of the past due balance, a late fee was forcedly added onto my account and my internet was blocked until they received payment. 

Since it was a Saturday night when I called 147, I had to wait until Monday to resolve this issue personally at Plaza Telkom since it could not be done over the phone.  This issue with Telkom or Speedy really took a lot of our time away from other things.  Not only we had to spend the time to drive over there, but also we had to wait in line and spent much more gas, which unfortunately has raised its price recently.  Fortunately, we only had to wait for one customer before we were called in to one of the customer service desks.  Unfortunately, she was a trainee and did not really help much when I explained to her the reason of my visit.  I described to her in details that I just wanted to pay for the past due balance, and about the internet being blocked, and the service charge that I was unwilling to pay.  Not to mention the amount that was charged on May invoice which was for April internet usage was totally incorrect.  Instead of being invoiced for 1 day usage, I was charged for a 7 day usage.  That was a total difference of over Rp. 70,000 that was not supposed to be my responsibility.  Yes, the technician was supposed to install the modem on the 22^nd of April but no one has ever come to set it up.  I had to make several calls to 147 to find out the status of the installation, and someone finally called and scheduled for the last day of April to install the modem. 

Back at the Plaza Telkom, I became impatience to wait on the resolution.  I stated to the trainee again that all I needed was to pay the past due balance without the fee so that my internet can run again.  She consulted first with the lady at the front who might have been her supervisor or a senior staff.  Both the trainee and the senior staff just tried to lecture me again and again on what I should have done instead of what solution they could offer to me to resolve this issue at this time.  Then the trainee went to see her manager inside and came back only to tell me that I could make the payment for the correct balance but still needed to pay for the late fee.  I was furious.  I asked to speak to her Manager.

There inside the Manager’s office, I was greeted by a young lady who asked me what brought me to her.  I looked at her and I could see her pretense of not knowing the problem.  Or perhaps she just wanted to know my side of the story so I reluctantly repeated what I have told 3 different staff at Plaza Telkom, and told her that I just wanted to pay the correct balance without the fee.  To my disappointment, instead of directly offering a solution to my favor, like the other staff who sat with me earlier, she repeatedly lectured what I should have done and why there was a late fee.  My brain was really fried.  I am not the kind of person who like to be lectured 3-4 times for things I am totally aware of now.  My dad also intervened on the conversation and she still tried to lecture us about the issue.  No solution was offered yet.  I almost lost my temper and told her that if she wanted to make this issue more complicated, I should have asked them to cover my gas and mileage, although I was only bluffing because I knew that they would not do that.  She became angry and started to yell at us.  So what kind of customer service is that? She finally agreed to remove the late fee this time, without forgetting to lecture us again about paying on time for the next invoice (yeah, like we would not do it).  This issue should have just taken 10 minutes top of my time, but because of the incompetence and impassionate of the staff, I wasted about an hour with them. 

What did I learn from this experience?

1.   Never trust invoice from Telkom or Speedy.  Always review your invoice to ensure the charges are correct, especially for the first month. 

2.   Staff needs better training in order to provide higher lever or customers’ satisfaction.

3.   Always ask details what you don’t know.  Do not make assumptions and feel that your questions are just being silly!

This also applies to other invoices, not only from Telkom or Speedy.  I hope this blog will help you avoid to be in a similar situation like I was.